2010 NBA Draft: Lottery Representatives

We wrote this post a while back, but considering the fact that the 2010 NBA Draft Lottery is only a  day away, we thought we would bring it back to the forefront.

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The draft lottery is a little over eight weeks away.  Every team sends any representative they want, but it’s always some front office people mixed with the team’s current roster.  What if some of the teams got innovative?  Well, if they won’t, we will; here’s our take on who should represent the teams at the upcoming lottery.

1. New Jersey Nets; Chance to win 25%: The Nets have had one hell of a season.  They aren’t winning and the basketball is nearly unwatchable. For the dozens of Nets fans around the world, there are things to look forward to.  If they land the number one pick, then they add super Freshman John Wall.  The Nets have money for Free Agency and can try and land LeBron, Wade or Bosh to go with whatever rookie they end up with.  You would think that nothing could help them turn this miserable season around.  Having Jay-Z show up to the 2008 lottery for the Nets only brought them 99 problems.  MayMikhail Prokhorovbe they’ll go a different route this year and bring in Mikhail Prokhorov.  Russia’s richest man recently became the majority owner of the Nets, so maybe he can use some of that fortune to grease the wheels and improve his team’s lottery odds.

2. Minnesota Timberwolves; Chance to win 19.9%: The T-Wolves have been short of spectacular this season.  Last draft they decided to add 3 point guards: Rubio, Flynn, and Lawson.  UnfortunatelyStephon Marbury they traded Lawson, who might be the best of the bunch.  Since GM David Kahn has been called crazy, we think Minnesota should bring in someone as crazy to sit on their behalf during the lottery.  Stephon Marbury would be the perfect man for the job.  He was recently MVP of the Chinese All-Star game, he eats Vaseline, and he cries listening to R&B shirtless on ustream.  What could possibly go wrong if Minnesota sees their draft position sliding?

3. Golden State Warriors; Chance to win 15.6%: From a winning standpoint this season has been less than ideal for the Warriors.  However, they knocked the last draft out of the park when they took Steph Curry at 7 overall.  The NBA Draft this year features a ton of great forwards, and if the Warriors are at the top of the draft they’ll be able to land a great prospect to grow with Curry and Anthony Randolph.  If tRun TMChe Warriors want to piggy back on Curry’s success, they may want to consider bringing Run TMC to the lottery this year.  The trio of Tim Hardaway, Mitch Richmond, and Chris Mullen may be just what the doctor ordered and could be the spark the franchise needs to get back on their feet.

4. Washington Wizards; Chance to win 11.9%: This has been a season to forget for the Wizards.  Not only have they had to deal with Gilbert Arenas’ multiple injuries the last several years, they had an even bigger headache this year when the genius brought guns into the locker room threatening Javaris Crittenton.  The Wizards decided to blow the team up when they dealt Caron Butler (to the Mavericks) and Antawn Jamison (to the Cavaliers).  The Wizards should shoot for the stars and ask Wizards fan and leader of the free world Barack Obama to be their representative.  Obama has already sat courtside and had the time to fill in a bracket for ESPN, so why couldn’t he make it for this?

5. Detroit Pistons; Chance to win 8.8%: Piston fans got accustom to being in the Eastern Conference finals, but then Joe Dumars decided to sign Charlie Villanueva and Ben Gordon Dennis Rodmanto lucrative contracts they had no business signing.  We recommend bringing back one of the “Bad Boys” to show that Detroit is still tough.  I bet Dennis Rodman could bring flare and tenacity to the stage, if he’s out of Sober House with Dr. Drew.  It’d be cool to see him with a multicolored haircut featuring lottery balls, draft pick numbers, and NBA logos.

6. Sacramento Kings; Chance to win 6.3%: This one is easy.  The Kings made the right decision last year when they passed on Ricky Rubio, Brandon Jennings, and Stephen Curry and went with Rookie of the Year favorite Tyreke Evans.  Considering he has carried the franchise thus far and will likely win ROY, Sacramento may as well ride the train for a little longer and see if his shoulders are strong enough to move the Kings up in the lottery.  Tyreke is the future of the franchise, so the Kings should do everything in their power to keep him front and center.

7. Philadelphia 76ers; Chance to win 4.3%: The City of Brotherly Love absolutely hates this team.  GM Ed Stefanski likely won’t be around for the next draft, so he’s out as a candidate.  If Iverson would have bowed out gracefully then the 76ers could have sent The Answer as their representative, but after the shenanigans he’s pulled this season that won’t happen.  Philadelphia should go back in time and bring one of their Hall of Famers: Charles Barkley or Dr. J.  We’re partial to beloved TNT analyst Charles Barkley.  Barkley would be a hell of an interview regardless of whether the 76ers move up or down in the lottery process.

8. Utah Jazz; Chance to win 2.8%: A deep team with a fair amount of uncertainty with their roster going forward, the Jazz are here because they have the New York Knicks’ pick.  With a 48-26 record thus faKarl Maloner, you wouldn’t think they would need much.  Unless the Jazz get #1 overall they’re going to grab a big man.  In that case, why not bring the franchise’s ultimate big man to the stage, Karl Malone.  We haven’t seen much of Malone since his retirement from the NBA, so it would be nice for him to finally show face wearing that cowboy hat of his.  A dark horse for the Jazz would be Isiah Thomas; after all, without him they aren’t even at the lottery.

9. Indiana Pacers; Chance to win 1.7%: Is anyone else tired of seeing Larry Bird as the rep for the Pacers?  A change is in order.  The Pacers need a clutch performance to move up enough to grab one of the marquee talents.  Who better to come through in a clutch moment than Hall of Famer Reggie Miller?  The show’s producers could put Spike Lee in the crowd and have him heckle just before the Pacers pick is announced.

10. Los Angeles Clippers; Chance to win 1.1%: The Clippers just can’t seem to ever get it right.  Last year they went with the consensus #1 overall Blake Griffin; that hasn’t turned out too great just yet. Griffin has been sidelined with injuries all-season as a rookie, so who knows what he can really do for them.  Since he hasn’t played a regular season game for the team yet, Blake should be contractually obligated to represent the Clippers in their perennial lottery festivities.

11. New Orleans Hornets; Chance to win 0.8%: The Hornets have had a tough year, firing heaDrew Breesd coach Byron Scott, and watching their franchise Point Guard Chris Paul going down with injury.  With Paul going down, however, they found out just how good Darren Collison is.  The rookie out of UCLA was considered to be a decent backup at best, but now he’s shown he can start in the NBA.  Not all has been bad in the city of New Orleans though.  Maybe Drew Brees, Quarterback of the Super Bowl Champion Saints, is what the (voodoo) doctor ordered for the Hornets.  Brees brought the city suffering from Hurricane Katrina back to their feet a couple of months ago, and I am sure he can help resurrect the Hornets franchise with an appearance.

12. Milwaukee Bucks; Chance to win 0.7%: The Bucks have a stud in rookie Brandon Jennings. This is one of the few no brainer selections for teams.  Milwaukee COULD send Australian Andrew Bogut, but Jennings is so much more entertaining.  Similar to the Pistons bringing Rodman, a Jennings appearance would be fantastic because he brings a lot to the table, he could rock the Gumby or the Milwaukee favorite: the Mullet.

13. Houston Rockets; Chance to win 0.6%: Can any team be this snake bitten?  It never worked out with T-Mac, who they finally parted ways with this season (getting Jordan Hill in return).  Yao Ming, who the Rockets’ front office still considers their franchise player, missed the whole season.  On the bright side, the squad is getting younger and GM Daryl Morey seems to have them on the right track.  The Rockets should send their best player, Hakeem Olajuwon, to represent them in the lottery.  Hakeem would be a great ambassador for the team and would bring some calm to an otherwise wild set.

14. Memphis Grizzlies; Chance to win 0.5%: Some argue the Grizzlies made the wrong choice Elvis Presley Impersonatordrafting inexperienced Hasheem Thabeet this past year, but that has yet to be officially decided.  Since they are a young franchise they don’t have any great alumni, so they’ll probably send OJ Mayo or Rudy Gay.  We want them to go a different direction.  Maybe a country singer?  We doubt it. What about an Elvis impersonator?  YES!  Send a fake Elvis to play air guitar when the Grizzlies pick is announced.  The NBA: Where Amazing Happens.

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